There seems to be a huge problem with sexuality. No human instinct has so many taboos surrounding it and is so marginalized as sexuality. In almost every discourse the topic is avoided. Bad and crude jokes instantly are made up when someone mentions it. With rancid humor and aggression sexual feelings are banned and repressed. They seem to make us feel uncomfortable. Only deep down in our consciousness do we let ourselves sometimes be sexual and even there sexuality has a hard time to exist. We don't like it to assert its control over our consciousness. We are very much afraid of 'the beast in us'.

So in public sexuality is never mentioned, let alone performed. It has been pushed to the dark side of existence, where it lives a shameful life in the dark rooms of night clubs, shabby brothels and dirty magazines. In the open en in full daylight is seems not to exist at all. Even in the life of the family it is performed with locked doors and dimmed lights, if it be performed. For also in the privacy of the family sex is often the greatest taboo.

But we all know that we are sexual beings. We've been born because of sexuality and with the help of sexuality we prolong our existence by producing offspring. The basic energy inside of us, our prana, our life energy. is in fact sexual. So every time we feel energetic, full of life and healthy, we are bound to feel sexual. We can't escape it. Every fiber in our body is indeed sexual.

Sigmund Freud has discovered the fact that every time we repress our sexuality, its energy gets stronger. We push it away, deep down into the unconsciousness, but from there it still exerts its great power. It is such a strong drive that it can't be tamed. It now chooses other strategies to have its sway. In fact sexuality becomes more attractive, more appealing, when it is repressed into the unconsciousness. For a secret pleasure is far more alluring than a pleasure given air.

So with this strong repression of sexuality man becomes a split person, in conflict with himself. He wants to be sexual, but to live out his true nature is condemned by society and by his own superego. He is so brainwashed by this condemnation that every time he feels sexual some guilt is bound to enter his consciousness too. For a person feels guilt every time he's allowing something repressed to enter consciousness.

When a person becomes split like that, he can easily be manipulated. For there is always a part in him that wants to be seduced. And the more as his sexual feelings are neglected and repressed. So he becomes an easy victim of commercialism. He can easily be seduced into buying a car, when a beautiful and sexy girl is placed beside it. Unconsciously he thinks that car is as beautiful and sexy as the girl. Sexual pleasure is helping the product being sold.

So our Western society is split also. At the one hand sexuality is condemned and not allowed in public. Only in the secret privacy of individuals is there a place for it. But at the other hand our society is full of sexual signs, seducing us all the time to buy products or to have momentary fun. We can discover a really amazing paradox nowadays: because of the sexual taboo, society has become extremely sexualized. There are sexual signs seducing us everywhere. But everybody is repressing sexuality all the time.

It must be admitted that there is some ground for us in restricting sexuality (though not in condemning it). If we look at it in terms of psychological value, we can see that sexuality is primarily concerned with the body. As such it is of a lower form than mental activities or spiritual feelings, which are more complex and higher forms of evolutionary growth. Reason and soul have higher psychological potentials in integrating the different aspects of our personality. Sexual feelings, like aggression or any other instinctual drive like eg. jealousy, can disrupt this integration. So reason and spirit indeed must prevail over the lower drives, if we want to be psychologically healthy.

But we must never condemn our sexuality. The best way to deal with our sexuality is to integrate it in the totality of our psyche. We must never repress it. We have to let it have it say. But it must always be controlled by our reason. Finally it can even be transcended by our soul if we focus more on Spirit than on body. But even then sexuality will be a totally accepted part of our human nature. Not so important anymore. But still a part of it.

But let us never forget that sexuality can also become very spiritual. When you become more and more focused on Spirit, the whole feeling of sexuality undergoes a complete transformation. Instead of something filthy or disgusting (for you consider your sex reprehensible when you repress it) sexuality becomes now, when fused with your higher Self, a feeling of great beauty. You can now totally enjoy your sexuality. For when you are focused on Spirit everything becomes Spirit. Your sexuality becomes godlike, because every act of yours has now become an act of love. You now want to help others with your sexuality, out of a deep love for creation.

(But that doesn't mean that the sexual energies as such change or are transformed. That was the view of Freud and still is the common view in psychology. Most psychologists seem to suggest that the sex drive can be transformed in something completely different. I personally don't believe in this sublimation of sexual energies into higher and spiritual energies. It will never happen that an individual be without sexuality, and has totally changed sexuality into something spiritual. He/she can never alter his/her sexuality. Sexuality is a drive from the lower (infra) unconscious and spirituality, art and all higher cultural achievements stem from the higher (supra) unconscious. Sexuality and eg. the drive to make art are very different psychological energies.

But sexuality and higher spiritual energies (eg. inspiration in art and intuition in science) both stem from the unconscious. They have much in common and can mutually influence one another. Sexuality can set higher forms of creativity in motion. Everyone can find examples from life and history to prove this. An artist, when he's in love and when his sexuality is aroused, usually creates his best artwork. His sexuality sets his whole unconscious into a higher voltage. As a consequence all his other unconscious potentialities come to the fore. So sexuality can trigger higher energies. But they can never be them.

So when we say that sexuality can be transformed, we mean that more higher, spiritual energies can be set loose by it and that there can be a tremendous powerful fusion of these lower and higher energies. Then sexuality gets coupled with higher modes of being. A higher integration of lower and higher drives then takes place and the lower takes on some characteristics of the higher. But seen as such there will always remain a difference between the lower and the higher, between sexuality and spirituality. It's a great psychological mistake to assume that we can get rid of our sexuality by sublimation. These wrong notions created a lot of suffering, both in religion and outside it.)

If we study sexuality with keen observation and meditate over it, so to speak, then we will gain all sorts of mystical insights. For when sexuality is totally accepted and seen as a way of God, then it can be used as a technique to awaken our higher Self and obtain complete spiritual integration. Sexuality can be used as a mean to awaken our higher energies. When rightly practiced it can release all sorts of tensions in your body. This physical catharsis can open the door to the world of spirituality. The science of Tantra in fact uses these sexual potentials to remove obstacles in our neuro-center's (chakra's). With the removal of these obstacles, the body becomes more calm and at ease. In a calm and peaceful body the soul becomes now more able to climb up to higher realms of Spirit. We have all experienced it. For this is the ecstasy we get as we experience orgasms.

When we acknowledge that sexuality can trigger these hidden potentials, then it becomes more clear now, why we repress our sexuality. We repress it our of fear. We are not only afraid of the lower energies that can be set loose by it, like aggression or loss of self control in a beast like manner, but we are also afraid of our higher energies. For they can be just as disruptive to the stronghold of our ego. They are as yet very unfamiliar to us. They can give us power beyond imagination. They can totally transform our consciousness, something quite scary to the ordinary  mind. For what we fear the most is irrationality, be it out of our lower unconsciousness (the infra-conscious) or out of our higher unconsciousness (the super-conscious). Sexuality has the capacity to awaken both types of hidden energies. And both are equally feared.

So there is this two side approach towards sexuality. One way is to repress it. This has been the way of most world religions until now. Focusing solely on Spirit and neglecting the body and the instincts, they have done a lot of harm to the soul of man. By condemning sexuality, the world religions have contributed to the global neurosis of mankind, instead of reducing it. They haven't liberated us, but instead they have fettered us to the chains of our own unconsciousness. They have made us feel guilty and not at ease with our deepest drives. In fact they have condemned God's own creation. They have put a verdict on the ways of nature.

But the other approach is much more to prefer. Let us totally accept our sexuality. Let us celebrate it as one of the most profound mysteries of life. Let us make it into a jewel of delight in fusing it with higher, spiritual energies. Then our sexuality becomes almost like a religion to us, in making us feel complete and in improving our social relationships.

Look at the wonderful, mysterious excitement that the body arouses in our soul when we feel sexual! Look at the intense lust in life we feel when we make love! There is tremendous power stored in our genitals. This power can be used by our psyche. With this power higher spiritual love can be set in motion. We can fuse sexual power and love together. We can use sexual energy on our Path to spiritual liberation.

Let us develop a technique in changing our perception of sexuality, in order to make it an integrating and positive energy in our psyche. We only need to change the way we look at it, the way we value it. Look at the picture presented here.
It can be viewed as pornographic and mean. You may even feel embarrassed looking at it. But try to accept the fact that the picture arouses a certain feeling in you. It's a physical and psychological reality that every time you see this or think about this, you will get excited. Our first step must be to accept this as a reality and not to fight against it or repress it.

When we have learned to look at this picture without any moral judgment, but have learned to see it the way it is, as just two people making love, then we can try a further altering of our Gestalt. We may try looking at it with love. Look at how soft and beautiful the woman here is. Look at the way she totally accepts her man. Look at the beautiful power that radiates in her lust. She is so concentrated, almost as if she is meditating. What you see here is a tremendous mystery of God. This is the way creation takes place. It is just as sublime as a breath taking view of an enormous mountain range or a roaring waterfall. Seen with the Gestalt of religion it is of enormous beauty.

Some religions have seen the potential, the beauty and the religious quality of this. Especially in India, but also among tribes in Africa and South America, among others, genital symbols were used to arouse in the believer a feeling of awe for the powers in man and nature. These symbols were used in a setting of religion and could thereby be more easily accepted by the onlooker. There was no condemnation whatsoever, but sexuality was seen as a divine power, sometimes even represented by a god or goddess itself. Sometimes sexuality was even used as a ritual in the temple. It was something to celebrate with joy in the heart and tears in the eyes.

We started this essay by stating that the world as it is now has huge problems dealing with sexuality. Let it be our concern to make the world a more healthier place to be in. Let us stop condemning our own natural drives. Sexuality is not the same as aggression. It was Freud's great crime to psychology to sometimes treat sexuality and aggression as if they were the same drives. Sexuality can be fused with aggression and then it surely is something ugly. But it can also be fused with spirituality and love. Then it is a beautiful tool in bringing people together and in uniting them in a mystical union. Sexuality truly is a gift from the gods and can offer us a bridge to their world.

But if we want sexuality to be this bridge, there have to be certain conditions. The conditions for the enjoyment of sexuality turn out to be the same as the conditions for enjoying enlightenment. For the basic condition for enjoying both is freedom. If you want to enjoy sexuality, be totally and utterly free. Be free of all moral judgments. Be free of everything everybody has ever told you. Be free of all the moral precepts of every kind of religion. They have made you feel guilty and sad about your own inner qualities. Look for the love and the sexuality in your own heart. Listen to the voice inside when you fall in love with someone and want to make love.

Also be free of all bindings and bonds that imprison and enslave you. Enjoy sexuality with as many people as you like, as much as you like. But let it be an act act of deep love and meditation. Yes, make the other one horny. But also give him lust for spirituality. Then you will have contributed to his spiritual growth also. With every act of love your consciousness evolves. With every arm you put around another person your world and your heart become enlarged. Don't let anyone restrict you. If someone says he loves you then his sole concern should be to let your heart enfold as many people as possible. Do not ever in any circumstances be possessed and restricted by anyone. Consciousness wants to grow and evolve. Consciousness wants to reach the stars and is growing with the growing speed of the universe. Wouldn't it want to come into contact with another person?

To be alone is not something to be feared and to be avoided. To be alone can be so blissful. So never be possessed by anyone out of fear of loneliness. When you are imprisoned by someone, then you'll feel lonely! So open your arms to as many people as possible in a loving way. That way you will never be alone. And then one day you will transcend your sexuality, when you have given it to everyone around you. Then you will grow out to be so completely spiritual that sexuality is not something to bother about anymore. It will be accepted but transcended at the same time. But until that day, enjoy your sexuality. It's one of those mysterious delights of mankind.

 
Arnhem, January 2003

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