buffy
quotes
please remember these are not in chronological
order so don't go e-mailing me saying, I think she said that
before
that.
Thanx
Buffy and her mom
Buffy: That much quality time with
my Mom could only lead to some quality matricide
Buffy: Mom, I've accepted that you've
had sex. I am not ready to know
that you had Farrah hair.
Mom: This is Gidget hair - don't
they teach you anything in History?
Joyce: Let me guess: You were distracted
by a boy.
Buffy: Technically.
Joyce: Honestly, don't you ever
think about anything besides boys and
clothes?
Buffy: Saving the world from vampires?
Joyce: (pause) I swear, sometimes
I don't know what goes on in your
head.
Buffy: But I looked good in it.
Joyce: You looked like a streetwalker.
Buffy: But a thin streetwalker.
That's probably not going to be the
winning argument, is it?
Buffy with friends
Buffy:You're missing the whole point
of Halloween.
Willow:Free candy?
Buffy:It's come as you aren't night.
The perfect chance for a girl to get
sexy and wild with no repercussions.
Willow:Oh, I don't get wild. Wild
on me equals spaz.
Buffy: Giles, to every generation
is born one who must run the annual
talentless show. You cannot
escape your destiny.
Buffy: It's weird, though. In his
way, I feel like he's still watching me.
Willow: Well in a way he sort of
is….In a way of that he's right over
there.
Buffy: I put my best friends in
mortal danger on the second day of
school.
Giles: What are you going to do,
crawl inside a cave for the rest of your
life?
Buffy: Would it have cable?
Buffy: My spider sense is tingling.
Giles: Your... spider sense?
Spider: Pop-culture reference.
Sorry. -
Angel: The elders conjured up the
perfect punishment for me: they
restored my soul.
Buffy: What, they were all out
of boils and blinding torment?
Buffy: You're my friend! You're
my Xander-shaped friend!
Buffy: So Giles, got anything that
can make this day any worse?
Giles: How about the end of the
world?
Buffy:Knew I could count on you.
Buffy:Xander, did I ever thank you
for saving my life?
Xander: No.
Buffy:Don't you wish I would?
Buffy:Could this get yuckier?
Willow:They probably kept the other
parts to eat.
Buffy:Question answered.
Angel - Is this a bad time?
Buffy - Are you crazy? You don't
just sneak up on a person in a grave
yard. You make noise when you walk.
You stomp or yodel.
Buffy:You're beginning to scare
me, Giles. You need to have some fun
You know, there's this place you
can go, right, and you sit in the dark,
and there are these moving pictures,
right? And the pictures tell a story.
Giles:Yes, ha ha, very droll.
Buffy talking about life and relationships
Buffy: Clark Kent has a job. I just
wanna go on a date.
Buffy:Sorry, but I'm an old-fashioned
gal. I was raised to believe that men dig up the corpses, and women have
the babies.
Buffy: We saved the world, I say
we party.
Buffy: You know, I always say that
a day without an autopsy is like a day without sunshine.
Buffy:I was late due to unscheduled
slayage. Showed up looking trashed.
Willow:Was he mad?
Buffy:Actually, he was pretty unmad,
which probably had something to do with the fact that Cordelia was drooling
in his cappuccino.
Willow:Oh, Buffy, Angel would never
fall for her act.
Buffy:You mean that actually showing
up wearing a stunning outfit, embracing personal hygiene act?
Buffy:It was one little dance which
I only did to make you crazy. By the
way, behold my success.
Willow - So we're talking about
a guy?
Buffy - Not exactly a guy. For
us to be having a conversation about a
guy, there would have to be a guy
for us to have a conversation about.
Was that a sentence?
Buffy:I think I just violated the
guy-code big time.
Buffy: Speaking of wow potential,
there's Oz over there. What are we
thinking, any sparkage?
Willow: He's nice. I like his hands.
Buffy: Fixation on insignificant
details is a definite first sign.
Buffy: I'm brainsick. I can't have
a relationship with him!
Willow: Not during the day... but
you could ask him for coffee some
night. It's the non-relationship
drink of choice. It's not a date, it's a
caffienated beverage. Okay, sure,
it's hot and bitter, like a relationship
that way, but...
Buffy: Simple deduction. Ms. Calendar
is reasonably dollsome, especially
for someone in your age bracket.
She already knows that you're a school
librarian, so you don't have to
worry about how to break that
embarrassing news to her. And she's the only woman we've actually ever
seen speak to you. Add it up, it
all spells duh!
Buffy: So, you've been seeing a
guy, but you don't know what he looks
like. Okay, this is a puzzle. No,
wait, I'm good at these. Does it involve a
midget and a block of ice?
Buffy:Oh, Valentine's Day is just
a cheap gimmick to sell cards and
chocolate.
Amy:Bad break-up, huh?
Buffy:Believe me when I say uh-huh.
Buffy talking about outfits and
the such.
Giles( about cheerleeding):You've
enslaved yourself to this, this... cult?
Buffy:What-You don't like the colors?
Buffy(searching for vampires):There's
one. ---Oh please, look at his jacket, he's got the sleeves rolled up,
and the shirt. Deal with that outfit.
Giles: It's dated?
Buffy: Carbon-dated.Only someone
whose been underground for ten
years would think that's the look.
(Looking at black dress)
Hi I'm an enormous slut.
(Looking at less sexy dress)
Hello, Would you like a copy of
the Watchtower? I used to be so good at
this.
Buffy talking about hereself
Buffy: Obviously, my sex appeal
is on the fritz today...
Buffy:God, I'm so mentally challenged!
Buffy:Yeah, and I've both been there
and done that.
Buffy:I may be dead, but I'm still
pretty.
Buffy: My buds are here! I love
my buds!
Xander: Buffy, Ford was just telling
us about the ninth grade beauty
contest, and the, uh, swimsuit
contest?
Buffy: Oh my god, Ford, stop that.
The more people you tell, the more
people I have to kill.
Ford: You can't touch me, Summers.
I know all your darkest secrets.
Xander: Care to make a small wager
on that?
Buffy: Yes, I lied, I'm a bad person,
let's move on.
Buffy talking to the bad guys
The Master:You were destined to
die. It was written.
Buffy:What can I say, I flunked
the written.
Buffy: I didn't come here to fight!
Ooh! Oh right, I did!
Lyle: Well, ain't you just got the
prettiest little neck I ever did see?
Buffy: Boy, you guys really never
come up with any new lines, do you?
Lyle: This ain't over!
Buffy: Oh, sure, they say they'll
call. -
Buffy: Now, we can do this the hard
way, or...well, actually, there's just
the hard way.
Buffy: Thanks for having me.
You know, you really ought to talk to your
contractor. Looks like you've
got some water damage.
The Master: Oh good, the feeble
banter portion of the fight.
Buffy: You're a vampire. Oh, I'm
sorry. Is that an offensive term?
Should I say 'Undead American'?
Vampire:Slayer.
Buffy:Slayee.
Buffy talking about slaying
Buffy: A cranky Slayer is a careless
Slayer
Buffy: ..he had this really, really
thick neck, and all I had was this little,
little exacto knife…you're not
loving this story
Buffy:Sorry, sacred duty, yada yada
yada.
Buffy: Okay, I'll give you improved
marks for that one. Ripping the
throat out - it's a strong visual,
it's not cryptic.
Buffy: I'm an un-dead monster that
can shave with my hand - how many
things am I afraid of?
Buffy: So, how come Halloween is
such a big yawner? I mean, do the
demons hate how commercial it's
become?
Buffy: Me? Why do I have to dissect
it?
Xander: Because you're the Slayer.
Buffy: And I slayed. My work here
is done!
Buffy: Come on, we fight monsters,
this is what we do. They show up,
they scare us, I beat them up,
and they go away.
Xander: So, what's on tap tonight
that's so important? Uprising?
Prophesied ritual? Pre-ordained
deathfest?
Buffy: Ah, the old standards.
Buffy: I've had it. Spike is going
down. You can attack me, you can send
assassins after me, that's fine.
But nobody messes with my boyfriend.
Buffy: What I see is that right
after the sun goes down, Spike and all of
his friends are gonna' be pigging
out at the all-you-can-eat moron bar.
Buffy talking about communication.
Buffy: I think I speak for everyone
here when I say, huh?
Giles: Something's coming. Something
is gonna' happen here...soon!
Buffy: Gee, can you vague that
up for me?
Giles:Might I have a word?
Buffy:Have a sentence, even.
Buffy: You know, people underestimate
the value of a good ramble.
Buffy: Speak English, not whatever
they speak in, um...
Giles: England?
Buffy: You are a thing of evil for
not telling me this right away.
Buffy: Okay, at this point you're
abusing sarcasm
Buffy:I wasn't lying. I was just
protecting him from information that he
wouldn't be able to digest properly.
Buffy:Ha! Or... possible ha.
Buffy beeing serious('caus this
is a drama show to you know)
Buffy(about angel not knowing he
has just lost his soul due to them sleeping together and he's now turned
into angelus again): No,he'd know better than that.Maybe he just needed...I
don't know.
I just, I wish he contacced me.
I need to talk to him.
Buffy: Angel!(runs to him)
Angelus: hey!
Buffy: Oh!
Angelus: hey
She kisses him and they hug
Buffy: Oh, my god I was so worried!
Angelus: I diden't mean to frighten
you.
Buffy:where did you go?
Angelus: Been arround.
Buffy: Ohh. Oh my god! (hugs him
again) I was freeking out! You just dissapeared.
Angelus: What? I took off.
Buffy: (confused) But you didn't
say anything you just left.
Angelus: Yeah.Like I really wanted
to stick around after that.
Buffy: What?
Angelus: You got a lot to learn
about men, kiddo.Although I guess you proved that last night.
Buffy: What are you saying?
Angelus: Let's not make an issue
out of it, okay? In fact lets not talk about it at all. It happened.
Buffy: I, I don't understand.
was it m-me? (weekly) was I not good?
Angelus: (laughs) You were great.
Really. (snidely) I thought you were a pro.
Buffy: How can you say this to
me?
Angelus: lighten up. It was a good
time. It doesn't mean like we have to make a big deal.
Buffy: It *is* a big deal !
Angelus: It's what? Bells ringing,
fireworks, a dulcet choir of pretty little birdies? (laughs) Come on, Buffy.
It's not like I've never been there before.
He reaches his hand up to here
face and she jerks back
Buffy: Don't touch me.
Angelus:(shakes his finger at her)
I shoud've known you wouldn't be alble to handle it.(starts to go).
Buffy: Angel! (he stops and faces
her) (teary-eyed) I love you.
Angelus: (points coolly at her)
Love you, too. (turns away) I'll call you.
He goes out the door. Buffy can
only watch him go, extremely upset and confused. The torment by angelus
begins here.
(this quote was copied from one
off aleXanders transcripts- follow the link in the links
section to go to his transcripts).
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