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Quotes
from Oz on Buffy
Oz: I'm going through some changes.
Willow: Well, welcome to the world.
Things happen. Don't you think I'm going through a lot?
Oz: Not like me.
Oz:Did anyone get bitten or scratched?
Willow:No, we're fine.
Oz:Gladness.
Oz:How you feelin'?
Willow:My head... feels big. Is
it big?
Oz:No, it's head size.
Oz: That kinda hurt
Xander: Kinda!? What was that for?
Oz: I was on the phone all night
listening to Willow cry about you. Now I don't know exactly what happened
but I was left with a very strong urge to hit you.
Oz: Well we know the world didn't
end...cause, check it out
Larry: Oh, let me guess, that little
innocent schoolgirl thing is just an act right?
Oz: Yeah, she's actually an evil
mastermind, it's fun.
Oz: So do you guys steal weapons
from the army a lot?
Willow: Well, we don't have cable
so we have to make our own fun.
Oz: You see, our band's moving towards
this new sound where, we suck, so practice
Willow: What you looking at?
Oz: This cheerleading trophy. It's
like its eyes follow you wherever you go. I like it.
Willow: So did you like the movie
last night?
Oz: I don't know. Today-today's
movies are kinda' like popcorn. You know, you forgot about 'em as soon
as they're done. I do remember I liked the popcorn, though.
Willow: Yeah, it was good. And
I had a really fun time with the rest. I mean, the part with you.
Oz: Oh, that's great! My time was
also...of the good.
Willow: Mine too!
Larry: Oh, last week, some huge
dog jumped out of the bushes and bit me. Thirty-nine stitches. They oughta'
shoot these strays.
Oz: I've been there, man. My cousin
Jordy just got his grownup tooth in. Does not like to be tickled.
Oz: I mean, it's not every day you
find out you're...a werewolf. That's fairly freaksome.
Xander: Yep, vampires are real.
A lot live in Sunnydale. Willow will fill you in.
Willow: I know it's hard to accept
at first.
Oz: Actually, it explains a lot.
Willow: Hi.
Oz: Aww, that's what I was gonna
say.
Willow: So, I'd still if you'd still.
Oz: I'd still. I'd very still.
Willow: Okay. No biting though.
Oz: Agreed.
Oz: Well, I sort of test well, you
know, which is cool. Except that it leads to jobs.
Oz: So I'm wondering, do the other
cookie animals feel sort of ripped? Like, is the hippo going, Hey, man,
where are my pants? I have my hippo dignity. And you know, the monkey's
just, I mock you with my monkey pants! And then there's a big coup in the
zoo.
Oz: I'm gonna ask you to go out
with me tomorrow night, and I'm kind of nervous about it actually. It's
interesting -
Willow: Well, if it helps at all,
I'm going to say yes.
Oz: Yeah, it helps, it creates
a comfort zone. Do you want to go out with me tomorrow night?
Willow (remembering Buffy's party):
Oh! I can't!
Oz: Okay I like that you're unpredictable.
Willow: Are you okay?
Oz: Yeah. Hey, did everybody see
that guy just turn to dust?
Oz: Sometimes when I'm sitting in
class, you know, I'm not thinking about class, because that would never
happen, I think about kissing you, and it's like everything stops, it 's
like freeze-frame, Willow-kissage. (Looks at Willow
looking at him.) Oh, I'm not going
to kiss you.
Willow: What? But - freeze-frame!
Oz: Well, to the casual observer
it would appear that you're trying to make your friend Xander jealous,
or even the score, or something, and that's on the empty side. See, in
my fantasy, when I'm kissing you, you're kissing me. It's okay. I can wait.
Larry: Man! Oz, I would love to
get me some of that Buffy and Willow action if you know what I mean.
Oz: That's great, Lar, you've really
mastered the single entendre.
Oz: I spoke to Giles. He says I'll
be okay, I just have to lock myself up around the full moon - only he used
more words than that - and a globe.
Buffy: Hi, Oz!
Oz: Hi.
Buffy: I seem to be having a slight
case of nudity here.
Oz: But you're not a rat, so, call
it an up-side.
Oz: It's sort of a funny story.
You remember when I didn't graduate?
Willow: Well I know you had a lot
of incompletes, but that's what summer school is for.
Oz: Yeah, well you remember when
I didn't go?
Oz: I don't know, I think we're
kind of getting a rhythm down.
Xander: We're losing half the vamps.
Oz: Yeah but, rhythmically.
Oz: We should figure out what kinda
deal this is. I mean is it a gathering, a shindig, or a hootinanny?
Cordelia: What's the difference?
Oz: Well a gathering is brie, mellow
song stylings. Shindig - dip, less mellow song stylings, perhaps a large
amount of malt beverage. And hootinanny - well it's chock full of hoot,
just a liiittle bit of nanny.
Willow: Ooh, Scott Hope at eleven
o'clock. He wanted to ask you out last year, but you weren't ready then,
but I
think you're ready now, or at least
in the state of pre-readiness to make conversation, or to do that thing
with your
mouth that boys like. Oh, I didn't
mean that bad thing with your mouth, I meant that little, half-smile thing
that you -
(to Oz) you're supposed to stop
me when I do that.
Oz: I like when you do that.
Oz (to Faith): Now you both kill
vamps, and, who could blame you, but I'm wondering about your position
on
werewolves.
Willow: Oz is werewolf.
Buffy: It's a long story.
Oz: I got bit.
Buffy: Apparently not that long.
Buffy: Couldn't sleep, huh?
Willow: I've been at Mister Donut
since the TV did that snowy thing. How come you're the wakey girl? I mean,
this
time it's not your boyfriend who's
the cold blooded - (Oz walks up behind her) - jelly donut?
Later:
Giles: Our task now is to determine
what sort of killer we are dealing with. Clearly we're looking for a depraved,
sadistic animal. (Oz walks up behind
him.)
Oz: Present. (All turn to look
at him.) Hey, I may be a cold-blooded jelly donut, but my timing's impeccable.
Oz: About this cage - when that
sun sets -
Pete: You won't be alive to see
it.
Oz: I'm serious. Something's gonna
happen that you probably won't believe.
(Pete changes into a monster.)
Oz: Or you might.
Cordelia: What's going on here?
Did Scott not ask her to the dance yet?
Buffy: Thanks, Cordelia. Humiliation's
really good for my color.
Scott: Oh, um, well no, I just,
I assumed that you would think it was corny or something, but I'm in. I
mean, you
know, if you are, if you want to.
Buffy: Uh, sure I do, you know,
if you want to.
Scott: I do if you want to.
Oz: The judges will accept that
as a yes.
Oz (about the SATs): I took it last
year. I could help you get ready. There's this whole trick to antonyms,
but uh,
well, this isn't the place.
Willow: Oz is the highest scoring
person ever to fail to graduate.
Buffy: Isn't she cute when she's
proud?
Oz: She's always cute.
Buffy: Something's weird.
Oz: Something's not?
Oz: That was my sarcastic voice.
Xander: You know it sounds a lot
like your regular voice.
Oz: I've been told that.
Oz: (Sniff sniff): It's Willow.
She's nearby.
Cordelia: What? You can smell her?
She doesn't even wear perfume.
Oz: She's afraid.
Cordelia: Oh my god. Is this some
sort of residual werewolf thing? This is very disturbing.
Oz: I really agree.
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